The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Found your dick twin last night
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
