can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
