Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Randomize
