I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
