Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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