No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Don't make out with my wife yet
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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