Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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