Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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