i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
