Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
