Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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