If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
