so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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