you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
