Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
