I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
My ATM looks so different sober.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
