after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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