they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize