Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He better not be in your backpack
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
