You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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