There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
