Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
