call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
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