sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
