You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Fuck me I smell like cheese
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
