I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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