Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
