also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Idk if I want to put a bra on
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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