You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
