You were right. It hurts to walk today.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
