I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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