Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
