it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I want her autograph on my taint
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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