weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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