Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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