Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize