I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
