Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize