I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
