I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Randomize
