I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize