Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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