hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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