I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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