i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
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