Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
