I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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