I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize