he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
