Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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