Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
