Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
