home. puking in laundry basket.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
