Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
