I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
