I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
