Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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