hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
