It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize