as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
