I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
