I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
