I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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