Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
