nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize