Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
