Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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