You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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