A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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