Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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