we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Randomize
